Crisis of Faith
I’m taking a class at church about the changing culture and our role in it as Christians. Traditonally, Christians treat non-Christians as “others” and try to evangelize them. This class emphasizes finding common ground and building relationships rather than blunt evangelism. In the last session, we had to get into groups and one of us had to ask a difficult question that a non-Christian may really ask, and the others had to answer. My question was basically “See Darfur? How can there be a loving God?” Another guy had a question about why Christians are so non-chalant regarding global warming. Another wondered about death. As we talked about our subjects, I realized something. Crisises of faith are a Godsend.
I know that most Christians would tell you that having a crisis of faith is the worst thing ever. Once you become a Christian, doubting is no longer an option. Just believe God in all things. I get that. It’s comforting. But I have found that I end up closer to God when I allow myself a full-on faith crisis. For instance, I have actually asked God what’s up with Darfur and how could he be loving and allow that to happen. I have even wondered if he was really there at all. Is this world and what we make of it really all there is. Does he see what’s going on there? Does he care? I mean, honestly, I really want to see someone get struck down by lightning over this! I honestly wondered if I could worship someone who could let those things happen.
The thing is, I dared to question my faith and my worship of God because I know that my love for him is a choice. Not that God isn’t worthy of my adoration, but I have to give it freely or it isn’t real. I would rather ask God about Darfur and ask myself if I wanted to worship him with the world being in this state and him letting it happen, than to blindly give my devotion for no apparent reason. I still love God and I have continued to love him through really difficult circumstances. He has promised not to ever leave me, and I plan to stick around with him, too. Oddly enough, my faith crisises force me to reason everything out and account for my faith in a way that blind devotion doesn’t, which ultimately brings me closer to God, not farther away.
So what does this have to do with evangelism? A LOT. When non-Christians ask us questions and we give some pat answer from “Church 101”, they know it’s fake. I think the thing that bothers them about us is not so much that we believe, but that it seems as if we are so bent on the next life that we truly stop caring about this one. It seems as if we don’t think about things like whether the war we are in is just, why things like Darfur happen and what we can do, or whether we should try to stop global warming. I think they would listen to us more if we would actually allow ourselves to ask the question “where is God in all of this” and then allow him to answer. It also helps to admit that we wrestle with that question and that sometimes God doesn’t answer and we just don’t know. Non-Christians are people who don’t believe in Christ. They aren’t stupid. They aren’t children. For the most part, neither are we. We should be able to relate as adults and find some common ground.
You know what? That faith crisis that non-Christians exist in and Christians avoid, where we ask “God, where are you?” is possibly the most common ground of all.
Well, I’m just not OK with not knowing. You Christians preach from the pulpit every Sunday that all of life’s questions are answered in the Bible. OK, then where in the Bible are the answers to the questions you admit you ask? What is the reference about Darfur (specifically, not in general), 9/11/2001 (again, specifically), etc.? I know for a fact that answers to MY questions aren’t in there–I’ve looked. I’ve also prayed about things, following Jesus’ sure-fire method: Ask in prayer and you’ll get it. No waiting, no explaining or justifying, no muss, no fuss. NO ANSWER. Look, if you believe in One who makes promises that aren’t kept, that keeps His children in total darkness while they starve, suffer and die (while claiming to be the ultimate “father”) yet claims to “love” them, go right ahead. But you seem to be a caring person, and I can’t believe that you feel OK with killing your own kids or refusing to help them after you’ve guaranteed them you’ll always be there for them. If you wouldn’t help or answer them, why tease them and lie to them? And then, claim to NEVER lie? When every word out of your (God’s) mouth is false, why would you (as God) think that ANYONE should listen, believe, trust, obey, etc.??? I’d be put in jail if I neglected my child like I’ve been neglected. And yes, I have a problem with bad people being blessed, but I can’t change that, and my own situation is all I can worry about right now. And coming back with “your selfishness is why you’re not happy” drivel (like I’ve heard so often), just shows how narrow the Christian focus is. I believed this stuff all my growing-up life, and when I needed help in my adult life, I discovered that the help wasn’t there. You’re right, the problem most non-believers have with “your side” is the incredulity–the “unbelievableness” of your message. Between not seeing it in your lives daily, and having it not work in ours, the whole idea is dead in the water. I’ll admit that I think a bit about what happens after death–I’m not an atheist. I’m an agnostic; I just don’t know but I DO know that no one else does, either. Christians would do well to admit that not even they have any answers. Life is pretty much one big crap shoot–you just have to hope that you miss getting shot.
Comment by Debbie Thompson — November 27, 2007 @ 12:55 pm
Hi Debbie,
I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you when you wrote this. Honestly, most of my comments turn out to be spam, so I don’t check often anymore. But I like your honesty and I want to respond.
Since I said that I’m sticking with God and he had reassured me of his love for us, I’ll give you some of what I think – but I don’t know that this answer will work for you or even if it is the ultimate one.
I basically think that God has given us free will so that we can prove the types of people we want to be. I do believe that God provides forgiveness for all, but that doesn’t let us humans off the hook completely. I believe those in Darfur who are doing evil will get their comeuppance – and when they do, God will point out to them that he let them choose what they wanted to be, and they chose. You can’t give humans the opportunity to be good without also giving them the opportunity to be evil.
On another note, I just read H.G. Wells science fiction book, The Time Machine. In the book, a time traveller goes into the future and finds that humanity has devolved into two distinct species. The Eloi – who are childlike and trouble free – and the Morlocks who are evil and carnivorous, and who use the Eloi for food. In the book, Wells notes that hardships keep our senses sharp, and that if we ever reached utopia, we would quickly devolve as a species because there would be no problems to solve. I don’t know if this makes sense, but the explanation in the book is wonderful. Mind you, this is not the Bible, it’s just an observation of humanity in a science fiction book.
Another view is that God does work, but he works though people. He loves us, and he also wants us to love one another. Sometimes when we look up and ask God what he is going to do, he looks down at us and says “I put 6 million of you all together. What are you going to do for each other?” There is a song by Casting Crowns called “If We Are The Body” and the lyrics are basically that if we are the body of Christ, why aren’t his hands healing? Why isn’t his love reaching? Why aren’t his words teaching? Another song with a similar theme is “In Not Of” by Avalon. That song asks why Christians hide from the world when we are supposed to be helping to save it. In essence, some of the trouble with people’s views of God is that Christians aren’t reflecting him properly. Granted, we aren’t perfect either, but we are supposed to be compassionate and helpful rather than judgemental. God allows all of us to experience hardships so that we can develop empathy and compassion – which should help us reflect his heart toward others, but sometimes it makes us hide and turn inward, thinking we can ward off future pain if we just don’t act like “those unbelievers”.
I admit, though, it’s still hard wrapping my head around the ongoing suffering in some places, like in Darfur. There is so much pain and it seems to be unending. Ironically, the people in those situations are usually Christian and, in interviews, they have the strongest faith I have ever seen. I don’t know how they do it. I do believe that God will bring it to an end, but I also think humanity is to blame. The whole conflict area is almost the size of Texas. How is it that the U.N. can’t contain that? All of the nations in the world can’t get together and stop the bloodshed in an area the size of Texas? Maybe before God steps in to save humanity, he’s giving us the chance to prove ourselves as humans.
Comment by Katryna Starks — March 11, 2008 @ 11:42 pm