Sex: Go All The Way!
by Katryna Starks
How far should you go sexually with the one you love?
Believe it or not, God wants you to have sex with the one you love. Really. He does.
He just wants you to get married first.
I recently encountered a man who finds me attractive and likes my personality. We even share many of the same interests. That man decided not to pursue a dating relationship with me because I won’t have sex before I am married. His reasoning was clear: “I respect your beliefs, but when I fall in love, it will be forever. I hope that person will love me and respect me and choose to know everything about me. And making love is part of knowing the whole, complete person you deeply care about.”
The funny thing is, I agree with him 100%. I, too, want to find the one I’ll be with forever. And when I find him, I want to know him in all ways – including sexually. After the wedding.
It seems that in today’s society, people (including Christians) are actively avoiding marriage. For instance, Christian couples often ask the question “if you love someone, how far can you ‘go’ without sinning?” The answer is: you can go straight up the aisle.
If you’re really in love, why would you not marry? As a matter of fact, engaged couples might have the least temptation of all. Let’s say that Jim and Tasha are engaged and they will be married on February 14. No doubt, Jim and Tasha have very strong sexual feelings for each other, but they know that this sexual tension won’t last forever. As a matter of fact, it will only last until February 14. After that, they can have as much sex as they want. I don’t mean to trivialize temptation for engaged couples, but it seems that waiting would be easier if you know you won’t have to do it forever. If you leave the relationship open-ended for an extended period of time, that’s when it’s the most difficult to wait.
But let’s say that a couple isn’t ready for marriage. The two are just dating. In that case, they probably don’t fit the full criteria of “in love”. They are probably in “really strong like” with a case of lust on the side. But is that the ideal situation to have sex in? I’ve heard couple’s say things like “We love each other, but we’re not in a hurry to get married or anything.” In that case, they don’t love each other enough to have sex. By not wanting to get married, they are basically admitting that they are not sure that they are with “the one”. After all, if you found “the one” that you wanted to spend your life with, why would you balk at a commitment that signifies you sharing your life? And, if you aren’t sure enough to get married, how are you “sure” enough to have sex?
God created marriage to be a loving union that fulfills many of our needs – including sex. He knows we want sex and he doesn’t have a problem with our sexuality. It’s our lack of commitment that keeps us out of his will.
So, when you find the love of your life, go all the way – to the altar!