faithMile

by Kevin Eikenberry

“Make it a habit to do nice things for people who’ll never find out.”
– Life’s Little Instruction Book

Got something for you to try. The next time you are at a toll booth, after paying for your toll, pay for the person behind you too! I had read of this idea several years ago, paying for the next person and asking the toll taker to give them your business card. (Apparently at least one realtor has done very well with this marketing approach.)

I always thought this was an interesting tactic, but had left it at that. Last week, though, as I neared the Bay Bridge, heading towards San Francisco, I was reminded of this idea, by a friend and associate, Leslie Brunker. She said that she always pays for the person behind her, anytime she’s at a toll booth. So, that’s what I did, I told the toll taker to pay for the next person, and tell them “Happy Valentine’s Day.” This led to a discussion of Leslie’s experiences in doing this, with some great stories of how people respond. During our conversation, the receiver of my dollar, barreled up along side me and waved a thank you.

The entertainment value was worth the dollar, but that is not why I am recommending you try it. I’m recommending it for what it does for the other person. Ever find a quarter on the ground? What happens after you find that quarter? Are you a bit nicer? Are you a bit more friendly, is there a bit more lightness in your step? I’ll bet the answer is yes to all three of those questions.

There was even a study done to look at what is now called the Good Samaritan Effect. In the study researchers stood near a pay phone and studied the people who made calls. One of the things they learned was that nearly everyone checks to see if there are any coins in the coin return after placing their call. The urge is nearly irresistible, to see if the machine made a mistake and returned your quarter.

This behavior gave the researchers an idea. The next day they randomly placed coins in the coin return slots, so that some people did actually discover money. The researchers then had a young woman walk by the phone at the exact moment the people were hanging up. When the woman walked by with her arms full of books, she pretended to stumble and drop them on the ground.

What they learned was that the people who had just found money in the coin return were four times more likely to stop and help the women with her books than were those who didn’t find any money. They concluded that when we feel good, we tend to do good.

This simple act of helping someone – with no desire (or possibility) of repayment is good for us and our self image, and it may positively change the life or outlook of the receiver for the day!

Maybe you don’t have a toll booth near you. But there are other ways to apply this advice.

Pay extra in the parking meter.

Randomly drop coins as you run or jog

Put a coin in the coin return – pay phone, candy machine, newspaper machine, wherever!

Buy a movie ticket for the next guest who walks up (especially if there is no one in line!)

These are just a few. There are many other ways! I’d love to hear what your experiences are with trying this, and what other ways you find to try it. Please send those on to me – I’ll happily put together a postscript for the everyone else.

Try it today – you’ll be glad you did!

by Dean F. Mapa

Lina beams for the camera. As a backdrop slightly above her head, bold letters emblazon the word, “Congratulations!” Lina was recently graduated from her elementary education at the age of 16 years.
What’s so special about this? Lina is one of the girls at the center for street children I voluntarily work for. Born from a poor family, Lina grew up in the streets without proper nutrition and abused by adults. Because of this she is a slow thinker. She was in fact called “Dumb and Dumber” by the other street children. She couldn’t even steal properly.

Rescued by our center, she was then placed under a UNICEF-sponsored education program in one of the local schools. Lina, against all odds, inched her way from grade to grade and finally received her certificate of graduation. It was, indeed, a prized possession for her!

How did she do it and what can we learn from this former street urchin?

She didn’t allow herself to be influenced by others’ talk. Her street peers thought she couldn’t do it. She was called names. They judged her hopeless. She refused to listen and instead pressed on. She listened to her own heart, which told her she could do it.
She developed positive thought. She knew she was a slow thinker, but she didn’t waste mental energy in confirming this. Instead she sought to convince herself that education was important and the more she learned, the faster she would be able to think. She sought to train her mind.
She wasn’t afraid. She didn’t allow the environment from whence she came to instill fear in her to go to school, a totally different world from the “education” of the streets. Yes, she was apprehensive at first, but she used this as a launching pad for her determination.
She lived one day at a time. Asked teasingly what her secret was when she received her certificate, she answered: “I went to school each day.” Indeed, the graduation was a cherished goal, but to get there she had to start and finish each school day.
The resources to achieve our goals are already within us. Lina, although it can be said had nothing, now has the best thing after all: the heart to achieve. Now, watch her conquer the world!

Dean F. Mapa is a writer, motivational speaker and inspirational coach. Visit his Web site, www.be-inspired.org.

by Katryna Starks

How far should you go sexually with the one you love?

Believe it or not, God wants you to have sex with the one you love. Really. He does.

He just wants you to get married first.

I recently encountered a man who finds me attractive and likes my personality. We even share many of the same interests. That man decided not to pursue a dating relationship with me because I won’t have sex before I am married. His reasoning was clear: “I respect your beliefs, but when I fall in love, it will be forever. I hope that person will love me and respect me and choose to know everything about me. And making love is part of knowing the whole, complete person you deeply care about.”

The funny thing is, I agree with him 100%. I, too, want to find the one I’ll be with forever. And when I find him, I want to know him in all ways – including sexually. After the wedding.

It seems that in today’s society, people (including Christians) are actively avoiding marriage. For instance, Christian couples often ask the question “if you love someone, how far can you ‘go’ without sinning?” The answer is: you can go straight up the aisle.

If you’re really in love, why would you not marry? As a matter of fact, engaged couples might have the least temptation of all. Let’s say that Jim and Tasha are engaged and they will be married on February 14. No doubt, Jim and Tasha have very strong sexual feelings for each other, but they know that this sexual tension won’t last forever. As a matter of fact, it will only last until February 14. After that, they can have as much sex as they want. I don’t mean to trivialize temptation for engaged couples, but it seems that waiting would be easier if you know you won’t have to do it forever. If you leave the relationship open-ended for an extended period of time, that’s when it’s the most difficult to wait.

But let’s say that a couple isn’t ready for marriage. The two are just dating. In that case, they probably don’t fit the full criteria of “in love”. They are probably in “really strong like” with a case of lust on the side. But is that the ideal situation to have sex in? I’ve heard couple’s say things like “We love each other, but we’re not in a hurry to get married or anything.” In that case, they don’t love each other enough to have sex. By not wanting to get married, they are basically admitting that they are not sure that they are with “the one”. After all, if you found “the one” that you wanted to spend your life with, why would you balk at a commitment that signifies you sharing your life? And, if you aren’t sure enough to get married, how are you “sure” enough to have sex?

God created marriage to be a loving union that fulfills many of our needs – including sex. He knows we want sex and he doesn’t have a problem with our sexuality. It’s our lack of commitment that keeps us out of his will.

So, when you find the love of your life, go all the way – to the altar!