faithMile

” I understand that sex before marriage is a sin and I’m really trying to live – and date- the way that God wants me to, but I have a problem. You see, I’m dating this guy and, well, he looks GOOD!”
— Jane Doe Christian

It’s difficult enough to keep our sexual desires in check when we don’t have anyone in our lives. Add a potential mate to the picture and what was difficult, but manageable can soon seem overwhelming and impossible. Since God’s word doesn’t change, our behavior has to. Here are some ways to help you and your partner navigate through dating while avoiding the temptation trap:
Stay Busy

You don’t necessarily have to add anything to an over-filled, hectic life, but try to cut down on the ability to always be available to spend time with your date. Spend time on a project or a hobby or with friends and family. This forces you to have to schedule times to be with your date, so you can plan things to do together. And speaking of planning:

Date, Don’t “Hang”
Contrary to modern beliefs, a date is something that takes place outside of your house. If you’re going out with someone, GO OUT! Go to the movies. Go to dinner. Go dancing. Go bowling. Go somewhere. If money is an issue, but you still want to spend some time together, you can take a Saturday and get both of your errands done (Okay, I know, running errands is boring. But it’s more fun if you have company!)

Indoors for Four
Sometimes your energy level and your wallet both scream “let’s just rent a movie!” For those times, try to coordinate with another couple who are also committed to celibacy. Things that can happen with two are less likely to happen with four.
If you can’t find another couple to spend time with, try to find a celibate couple to be accountable to. That way, you and your dating friends can help each other stick to the plan.

Bookend Your Prayers
Begin and end each date with prayer. For some of you, this may sound zealous or corny, but trust me on this one. When you begin a date with prayer, it puts both you and your date’s focus on God. It also helps to clear both of your minds so that you both start the date “on the same page.”
When you end a date with prayer, it helps to refocus you and make sure that the date ends on a Godly note. Also, you may be less apt to waver in the middle of your date when you know that you both are going to pray together later.
Perhaps the most important reason to begin and end dates with prayer is that it gets you and your date in the habit of praying with each other – and for each other. Since most Christians who date are looking for marriage partners, it’s a great way to build a prayer life together that could last a lifetime.

When I was younger, my cousin and I were walking to the store. On the way there, we saw some teenage girls. My cousin walked up to one of them and introduced herself and then said “You’re nice. Will you be my friend?” Being a pre-teen girl myself, with her only a few years younger, I was mortified. That was the most “uncool” thing one could possibly do. However, the girl didn’t ridicule my cousin. She said “Yes, I’ll be your friend” and they talked for a few minutes. Then we went on our way.

Looking back, I think of that moment and I have a different view. Instead of thinking of how uncool it was, I feel a longing for how simple things used to be. Somehow, in adulthood, the need to connect is still there, but the means is vastly different. We can’t just walk up to people and say “Hi. Will you be my friend?” It’s seen as strange. But why is that? Did we grow out of the need for friends? Should we have to jump through hoops in order to qualify for a “Hello” from another person?

One of my new year’s resolutions is to be more open. I want to start with my FaceBook friends. Most of my friends are just people who sit on the page and I rarely see or talk to them, but I can make an effort to reach out. Post some messages on a few walls every day. Leave some private messages asking how people are doing. Of course, my FaceBook friends are people I know and therefore should be interacting with. However, hopefully this will lead to me being able to be more open with people I don’t know, making an effort to say hi or start some small talk. And, just once, I want to get up the nerve to say to someone I’ve just met, “You’re nice. Will you be my friend?”

by Paula R. Baines

Are you going to church, yet not really there mentally? Oh that has happened to me recently. I hate to admit it though. I am not sure when this start happening but I have noticed it occurring more often.

My husband stated that he goes to church to be thankful for what he has been given in life. He stated that he is concerned that I spend more time worrying about other things and not really there mentally. Strangely I feel I’m only reminded of things that I have not done. Guilt? Perhaps.

I think my spirit has been buried under all the calendar commitments and “to-dos” that I have yet to do. Unfortunately, church has become another thing to do. Not only has my head not been there but my heart has not either.

I was just reading an article on the Internet that included the following biblical quote:

“throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

I lack the spiritual energy to keep up with life and realize that maybe if I let go and let God, my burdens will be lifted. I desperately need to be restored. Help.

You know what is even more frustrating I am writing an inspirational motivational book about growing in the spirit and attitude. Ironically, I could use a major attitude adjustment myself.

I work on my book each day to complete a chapter by week’s end, plus the other things on my “to-do” list. I have been bogged down by goal of achievement, i.e. self publishing my book and signing those autographs that I have forgotten who gave me the talent to write in the first place.

Have you ever been bogged down by goals that you forgotten your original purpose for achieving them in the first place? Do you spend more time counting the “to-dos” then counting your blessings? I have to raise my hand on those two accounts as well.

I have resolved to be more grateful for what I have in life than what I have left undone. I have resolved to restore my spirit so I can achieve what I need to do to live with purpose. I resolve to concentrate when I am church so I can filled again with the spirit so I can meet the daily challenges of life during the week.

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:12).

——————————————————————————–

Paula R. Baines is writer and publisher who resides in Hampden, Maine with her husband of nine years and two young sons. She publishes a bimonthly newsletter called Vantage Point E-News and a website, PowertoGrow.homestead.com. She can be reached via e-mail at AdvantagedImage@aol.com.