faithMile

by Katryna Starks

“Take Chances!
Get Messy!
Make Mistakes!”
— Teacher, The Magic School Bus

Mistakes. If you’re anything like me, you hate them. Not other peoples — your own. Making a mistake can make us feel anything from slightly embarrassed to completely stupid — and, in the worst cases, unworthy of God’s love. But, what are mistakes, really? Well, they’re opportunities to learn!

The Same Mistakes

Do you find yourself making the same mistake over and over again? That can be a frustrating experience. But take heart – it’s also a learning experience. Here’s what we can learn from making the same mistakes:

There is a habit, a problem area or a “blind spot” in your life. Think about the last time you made that same mistake. Ask yourself “what lead up to it?” Think about the circumstances around your mistake. Where were you? Who were you with? How did you feel?
Now, think about the time before that one, and each time before that. Were you in similar circumstances? Do you see a pattern? Pray about your mistake. Does God show you a pattern? Stop the pattern and you stop the mistake.

You need to learn a lesson and you keep changing your outward circumstances without learning it. I remember a time in the not-too-distant past when I had a problem with authority. Particularly, the authority at my job. I didn’t have a boss that I liked and I didn’t want to submit to someone who, in my opinion, was wrong (no, I’m not married). In order to not have to submit to my boss, I would find another job. But guess what? My new boss would turn out to have all of the same qualities I didn’t like about my old ones. I finally realized that God was teaching me to submit to authority. Once I humbled myself (and believe me, it was a humbling experience), I ended up in a great job — with a great boss.

You need to work on your relationship with God and it’s manifesting in your life. Do you keep finding that your mistakes involve a lack of trust? Do you need to trust God more? Do your mistakes involve a lack of obedience? Do you obey God? Sometimes God will use situations in our lives as mirrors for our relationship with Him. Strengthen your relationship with God and the vicious cycle will end.

Different Mistakes

As frustrating as it can be to make the same mistakes over and over again, it can be equally jarring to find that you’ve solved one dilemma — only to find yourself in another. Here is what we can learn from our new mistakes:

You’ve dealt with the old issues and you now have new challenges to face. As humans, we all have several issues to deal with and bad habits that need to be corrected. And God fully intends to help us correct every one of them — but not at the same time. If you have conquered a bad habit, but find your attention drawn to another bad habit, then you’ve done well with the first and now your assignment is to work on the second. Best wishes to you. Keep the faith!

You’re still not learning the first lesson, so God has to give it to you another way. Examine the principles behind the mistakes. What is the nature of the solution? Does the new mistake seem to be a lot like the old one? God could be trying to teach you an old thing in a new way.

You’re growing. New mistakes could be the result of launching into uncharted territory. We want God to take us to new heights, but we often don’t want to do the work (or make the mistakes) in order to get there. We rarely learn a new thing by doing it correctly the first time — and being a Christian doesn’t erase the natural learning process. Mistakes are necessary in order to grow. Keep at it. At the end of the process, you will have reached new heights and learned a little perseverance along the way.

No matter what kind of mistakes we make, if we take the time to look deeper and pray, there are lessons to be learned from all of them. One of the most importance lessons we learn from all of our mistakes is the lesson of forgiveness. For more on forgiveness, read the companion article … But We Get Up.

Every Father’s Day, I reflect on God the Father and his love. But God isn’t actually male. God is spirit and doesn’t have a gender. As I read on a recent message board, one could just as easily say “God the Mother”. Even some newer Bibles use gender-neutral language to describe God. So does it matter if God is referred to as “father?” I think it may.

Both mothers and fathers love their children, but very differently. A mother’s love can be seen as somewhat automatic. The child is literally a part of the mother from conception until birth. The mother gains an understanding of her child in the womb. She changes how she eats based on how the baby responds to different foods. She has to go to doctor appointments in order to check the baby’s progress. During a few months of the pregnancy, she can even “play” with the baby by pressing different spots on her stomach, sometimes eliciting a response. By the time the child is born, a lot of bonding has already occurred between baby and mother, and the love she has for her child is seemingly instant and effortless.

Fathers bond with their children as well, but only if they choose to. A father can walk away from his child at the moment of conception and not look back. A man can be a father and not even know there was a pregnancy at all. Even if he is aware, he can choose to be distant. He is not physically obligated to be at prenatal doctor appointments. He doesn’t have to adjust his diet. He doesn’t carry the child inside of him. He doesn’t give birth. In a way, a father has to choose to form a bond with his children. He chooses to stay. He chooses to love.

In that sense, God is both mother and father. God formed humans with direct involvement, as a mother. However, God chose to reveal himself to us as a father. Not because he wanted us to understand any aspect of maleness, but because he wanted to emphasize that, like a father, he has chosen to love us. He has chosen to claim us. To not deny us. To preserve our relationship at all costs.

Ephesians 1:3-4 tells us that God chose us even before he formed the earth. In I John 4:19 we learn that he loved us before we loved him. That, I believe, is the essence of why God presents himself to us as a father. He wants us to know that we are not just loved, we are chosen.

We all need to read the Bible on a regular basis, but sometimes things get in the way. We put it off or we consider it an “extra” thing that we will do after we get all of the important things under control. The problem with that is, we’ll never get the other things “handled”. Once we knock down one time obstacle, three more pop up to fill it. It becomes a vicious circle. So, how do we get out?

” I know I need to read the Bible, but I just don’t have time.”

Pencil It In!
We have our day-planners with us wherever we go, reminding us of important meetings, when to pick up the kids from practice, and who we need to call when we get home. If you’re having trouble finding time to study the Bible, plan a time for it and put that in your organizer, too! (If you don’t have an organizer, get one! It’s the best $20 you’ll ever spend!) The best thing to do is to create a fixed time to study, such as 7:15-7:45 every morning or evening. It is important to include a time to start and a time to stop. Stick to these times. When the starting time comes, stop whatever you are doing and open your Bible. At the end of your time, close your Bible — even if you feel you didn’t get anything out of it. Once you make Bible reading a priority and keep to your schedule, you will learn to focus in and make every reading time a productive one.

“I’ve tried to read the Bible, but I just don’t understand anything.”

Make a Method
Reading the Bible, as with reading anything else, is easier if you have an idea of what you’re looking for before you start to read. When you go into a bookstore, you read the backs of several books until you find one that tells you what you want to know, then you read that book. The introductions to the books of the Bible work in much the same way. Before you cozy into the section to read, scan the introductions. Create a few questions that you would like to have answered. Then, as you read, take notes. The notes can answer your earlier questions or that can be jotted down quote that speak to your spirit at that particular time. Try to write down the relationship to the quote and the situation in your life that makes it jump out at you. For instance, if you read a section on loving your neighbor, don’t just jot down the section, make notes about the conflict you had with a friend or co-worker and how that section helps you with your situation.

“It’s hard to concentrate on the Bible. My mind keeps wandering to other things.”

Create a Haven
Find a spot in your home or at work where you can read the Bible in peace. That spot can be as simple as pulling a TV tray up to your favorite chair or as elaborate as a home office or study. Block everything out of your mind except the Bible. The dishes can wait, your phone calls can wait, the dog can wait … you get the picture. Unless there happens to be a life-or-death emergency every time you start to read the Bible, the distractions that keep you from reading aren’t as much of a priority as you make them. This method works especially well when you combine it with “pencil it in”. If you have a specific time every day that you devote to Bible study, it is easier for other members of your household to adjust to your schedule.

“There’s so much to read. I don’t know where to start.”

Grow Into It
A good thing to do when you are trying to establish Bible reading habits is to read the shorter books first. The Epistles (found at the end of the New Testament) are relatively short as well as some of the books of the minor prophets (like Nahum). Instead of reading an entire book, you can also read sections at a time, or focus on one parable per study session. If you’re still having trouble, you can find several Bible study guides in the library or at a Christian bookstore.

When you sit in your haven at the appointed time to read or study your Bible, you will read with vigor and experience miracles and revelations — well, not exactly. Sometimes you’ll gain new insights, sometimes you’ll get distracted halfway through. Learning to walk with God is a lot like learning to walk on Earth — you have to crawl first. The point of reading the Bible is not that you do it perfectly every time, but that you stay committed to it no matter what. By reading your Bible, you will gain new insights and you will grow, but only if you stick with it.