faithMile

by Anonymous

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents. A Mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it…and a Father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, dishtowel in the other.

It was the time for fixing things–a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep. It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful.

Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more. But then my Mother died, and on that clear summer’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any ‘more.’

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away…never to return. So…while we have it…it’s best we love it. . .and care for it…..and fix it when it’s broken. . .and heal it when it’s sick.

This is true…..for marriage…..and old cars . . .and children with bad report cards…..and dogs with bad hips…..and aging parents…..and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep.

Like a best friend that moved away-or-a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, we keep them close.

” I understand that sex before marriage is a sin and I’m really trying to live – and date- the way that God wants me to, but I have a problem. You see, I’m dating this guy and, well, he looks GOOD!”
— Jane Doe Christian

It’s difficult enough to keep our sexual desires in check when we don’t have anyone in our lives. Add a potential mate to the picture and what was difficult, but manageable can soon seem overwhelming and impossible. Since God’s word doesn’t change, our behavior has to. Here are some ways to help you and your partner navigate through dating while avoiding the temptation trap:
Stay Busy

You don’t necessarily have to add anything to an over-filled, hectic life, but try to cut down on the ability to always be available to spend time with your date. Spend time on a project or a hobby or with friends and family. This forces you to have to schedule times to be with your date, so you can plan things to do together. And speaking of planning:

Date, Don’t “Hang”
Contrary to modern beliefs, a date is something that takes place outside of your house. If you’re going out with someone, GO OUT! Go to the movies. Go to dinner. Go dancing. Go bowling. Go somewhere. If money is an issue, but you still want to spend some time together, you can take a Saturday and get both of your errands done (Okay, I know, running errands is boring. But it’s more fun if you have company!)

Indoors for Four
Sometimes your energy level and your wallet both scream “let’s just rent a movie!” For those times, try to coordinate with another couple who are also committed to celibacy. Things that can happen with two are less likely to happen with four.
If you can’t find another couple to spend time with, try to find a celibate couple to be accountable to. That way, you and your dating friends can help each other stick to the plan.

Bookend Your Prayers
Begin and end each date with prayer. For some of you, this may sound zealous or corny, but trust me on this one. When you begin a date with prayer, it puts both you and your date’s focus on God. It also helps to clear both of your minds so that you both start the date “on the same page.”
When you end a date with prayer, it helps to refocus you and make sure that the date ends on a Godly note. Also, you may be less apt to waver in the middle of your date when you know that you both are going to pray together later.
Perhaps the most important reason to begin and end dates with prayer is that it gets you and your date in the habit of praying with each other – and for each other. Since most Christians who date are looking for marriage partners, it’s a great way to build a prayer life together that could last a lifetime.

When I was younger, my cousin and I were walking to the store. On the way there, we saw some teenage girls. My cousin walked up to one of them and introduced herself and then said “You’re nice. Will you be my friend?” Being a pre-teen girl myself, with her only a few years younger, I was mortified. That was the most “uncool” thing one could possibly do. However, the girl didn’t ridicule my cousin. She said “Yes, I’ll be your friend” and they talked for a few minutes. Then we went on our way.

Looking back, I think of that moment and I have a different view. Instead of thinking of how uncool it was, I feel a longing for how simple things used to be. Somehow, in adulthood, the need to connect is still there, but the means is vastly different. We can’t just walk up to people and say “Hi. Will you be my friend?” It’s seen as strange. But why is that? Did we grow out of the need for friends? Should we have to jump through hoops in order to qualify for a “Hello” from another person?

One of my new year’s resolutions is to be more open. I want to start with my FaceBook friends. Most of my friends are just people who sit on the page and I rarely see or talk to them, but I can make an effort to reach out. Post some messages on a few walls every day. Leave some private messages asking how people are doing. Of course, my FaceBook friends are people I know and therefore should be interacting with. However, hopefully this will lead to me being able to be more open with people I don’t know, making an effort to say hi or start some small talk. And, just once, I want to get up the nerve to say to someone I’ve just met, “You’re nice. Will you be my friend?”